Because I have to.

I need to blog.

Why? I don't know.

About what? No clue either.

But still, I need to blog. I need to write, to create, to express... whatever it is I'm thinking, feeling, experiencing...

And yet, I find myself devoid of inspiration. Well, not exactly.

Here's the thing. I actually come up with great blog topics... when I'm brushing my teeth at night and the computer is off. I head to bed and try to relax and instead I'm writing my blog in my head. The words are gorgeous and the sentences just flow like a beautiful river... But I'm definitely too tired to get out of bed, let alone wait for the laptop to start up, then load blogger and start typing.

Sometimes, I'm lucky and I remember the topic and the gist of what I was going to say at some point the next day. Most of the time, it's a glimmer of thought... lost among dreams and their interpretations and lists of things to do today.

In other words, it's gone.

I've tried keeping a recorder near the bed so I could dictate my blog to my (future) self, but that was during a period of fairly limited creativity. I always have a pad of paper and a pen by my bedside, but turning on the light when my eyes are that tired is just not an option. And though I have penned songs in the dark with some success, it's just not the same when you have to write out complete sentences.

I don't know what the solution is. I don't know why I can't think creatively while I'm awake(-ish). This free writing thing I'm doing right now is kinda working, but that's because I don't need to think about the topic itself, since, well, circular logic here... I'd get into it but I'd just confuse myself, and probably mess you up too...

The good news is, no matter what I choose to type about, the words always appear as if by magic. And I like that. I'm glad that's not gone yet.

Well, I guess practice makes perfect, as they say, so I'll just have to keep doing this random blog about whatever thing.

Stay tuned...

Today, I woke up with a smile

OMG!!!!!

I was in bed.... since about 8:30, tossing and turning... then around 9 I decided I needed to get up...

I could hear the frost and snow and frozen rain coming down, and really didn't feel like getting up... But finally, at 9:30, I forced myself up. Enough, I thought, I need to get up before my shoulder gets any more painful...

And I go to the washroom, as usual. I'm walking back into my room to turn on the computer, wondering if I should go get the newspaper, when the doorbell rings.

In a second, I wonder if I'm decent in my PJs, if my mom is back for lunch REALLY early, if someone's car broke down and needs help, or if my brother is expecting a package.

I head downstairs and can see a delivery guy and the box out of the windows alongside the door.

I answer, and he asks if I'm Naila Jinnah. Of course, that's me.

Now I'm wondering if I ordered something I forgot about... and why it's arriving by Fed Ex.

Most of the stuff I order is UPS or DHL, but I haven't really ever used FedEx.

The guy has forgotten his special pen in the truck. Meanwhile, I bring in the grocery pamphlets. The package is in my hands, but for some reason, I'm not looking at it yet.

I sign my name, thank him, and lock the door.

Then I start looking for any indication of the origin of the package.

I finally find the sender's name and address.

Stephanie Boutin. I recognize that name, but I'm not sure from where.
The next line says, "Boutique Souvenir".
I think, did I order something from the Habs? Unknowingly? Is someone sending me an early Xmas gift?

Of course, the address seals the deal. St-Antoine. It's definitely the Bell Centre.

Now I'm excited. I'm curious. I want to know.

I grab a knife and cut the box open, fighting with the stupid tape.

And it's filled with brown paper.

I think, "oh. Okay."

I dig through the paper and see bubbly paper... and within it, this circular black object.

It's a puck.

Then it comes flooding back.

The FedEx practice puck contest!!!!

I have won a puck from the Nov. 19th warmups.

I am so excited!!! I can see the scratches and marks and stick lines. There's even a cut on one side! The puck bears the NHL insignia and the slogan, "official practice puck", half erased by play. The rim states that the puck is official and made in Canada.
What joy! They still use Canadian-made pucks!
The puck comes with a souvenir box and stand, printed with a Montreal Canadiens and FedEx logo. I also get a certificate of authenticity.

I almost feel like reverting back to my teen days and getting it autographed.

And now, I can't stop smiling!